What do i mean to you? What do you see in me?
Take everything i have, consume all you see

(Guitar love that turns into next verse)

You know another one is waiting, you dont even need sympathy
Behind you is a thousand black eyes, darkened by self empathy

(machine gun drumming, oh ya)

Without you I feel so empty, but its only due to what i had
Took everything i had in me, then you found another hand
Replace before the first ones even lost, useless caring about the fucking cost

(roughdraft (obviously))

So my girlfriend dumped me, she was having issues with dating one of her friends ex boyfriends so i understood that, no big deal, i figured i would be a little let down but i would move on

She forgot to mention the guy she got with the night before... i have ears everywhere and will find out everything... some people dont realize this... but anyways i called her a fucking cunt... its not normaly my style to be harsh but this is an exact repeat of the amber insodent, they both left me for other guys, but you know what who gives a fuck, onto important matters

My fucking band is fucking awesome, i cant beileve we sound so good already its so great! ive never been this damned excited... if my band keeps progressing like this i wont have any trouble getting groupy sex ohh ya! But anyways we played all last night till my fingers almoast bled, we all have great equipment with the exception of a good PA system for vocals.. we are using a radioshack mic and a accustic guitar amp and a shit cord that screams every once in a while lol... ohh well we will eventualy get better equipment... but in the meantime we have a large 6 10 bass amp and a crate half stack - which i am using - eventualy i want to upgrade that to a mesa - but anywho, life is fantastic, i wish i had a girl to share the excitement with.. but oh fucking well...

Im bruised and tattered, my hair is falling out, i move my arms or legs and i feel pain.. ive had around 2 to 3 hours of sleep and this is after the most violent show i have ever been 2, we seen in order of apperance: 10 days, blood something lol, american head charge, and static-x, the last 3 bands where sex, the blood band had a great bassist, american headcharge was just fun as sex with triplets, and static-x.. well they are static-x. Not normaly my type of metal but being with good ppl and seeing a good show always puts this warm tingly feeling in my vagina, but anyways after the show we hung out with American headcharge's drummer, we went and got nachos and icecream... he was around 30 but had the mental capacity of someone around the age of 12, he was a good guy thoe, and he remembered all of our names, i feel bad for the band, they recently lost one of their memebers, he was found dead on his bunk in the tourbus, i cant even imagine playing with someone for years, literaly living with them, and then finding them cold... very tragic. I dont want to admit it, but i stood out like a sore thumb, i was they only guy in girl pants, luckily zipper let me borrow her black mudvayne hoodie lol, so i managed to blend a little better... ohh and static x played my favorite song by them.. its called love dump

On a more tragic note another girl has decided to no longer date me, i do everything right, honestly, and i just cant have anything lasting... i just want something to be mine... maybie its greed, but everyone else gets something to love but me... enough

I have alot of good things, but i just want something to die for

Ive gotten alright at geetar, im getting good enough that lessons might be usefull now, i must get my solo skills up... way up as up as upable..

I love britt, she writes alot of journal entries about me, what a sweetheart

Me and david are quite similar i decided...well i guess its sorta obvious when you see the two of us. But anyways the reason i am mentioning our similaritys is the fact that we both love poseesions, it makes us feel complete to own things...The gibson LP S LTD i just bought is proof...was i happy with my 600$ SG...no, i had to have a 2100$ LP it is the most amazing thing i have ever owned....its as expensive as a car, but sounds like a dream...

I have been quite lonely lately, it sucks...i miss social interaction...im thinking of going to a mall or park and just sitting on a bench and just hopeing that someone walking will past will even nod their head to aknowledge me. Im starting to think that i should have joined the USMC that way all the people with loved ones that are dying can trade their life with someone who doesnt deserve theirs

I have been craving mexican food, i want mexican food, umm mexican food, where is the salsa

I got my haircut i look so emo, im thinking of letting my red hair grow out...yes red..the color of salsa

Speaking of hair, i havent had a razor in about a month, my pubes and chin pubes are running wild

I bought my expensive guitar a few days ago, i just need to wait for my loan to go threw and its mine, "ohh yes, she will be mine" ...I have been lonely i have been reunified with david, but i still miss female company, i have been with alot of whores as of late and i want someone that gives me a challenge and will actualy stay around (ya right, im fucked) but thats the update, ill check back soon