Rip me open, dig threw the insides

Replacable

Thu, 05 Jan 2006 14:18:27 GMT

What do i mean to you? What do you see in me?
Take everything i have, consume all you see

(Guitar love that turns into next verse)

You know another one is waiting, you dont even need sympathy
Behind you is a thousand black eyes, darkened by self empathy

(machine gun drumming, oh ya)

Without you I feel so empty, but its only due to what i had
Took everything i had in me, then you found another hand
Replace before the first ones even lost, useless caring about the fucking cost

(roughdraft (obviously))

You would think i would be hurt

Mon, 27 Jun 2005 14:44:22 GMT

So my girlfriend dumped me, she was having issues with dating one of her friends ex boyfriends so i understood that, no big deal, i figured i would be a little let down but i would move on

She forgot to mention the guy she got with the night before... i have ears everywhere and will find out everything... some people dont realize this... but anyways i called her a fucking cunt... its not normaly my style to be harsh but this is an exact repeat of the amber insodent, they both left me for other guys, but you know what who gives a fuck, onto important matters

My fucking band is fucking awesome, i cant beileve we sound so good already its so great! ive never been this damned excited... if my band keeps progressing like this i wont have any trouble getting groupy sex ohh ya! But anyways we played all last night till my fingers almoast bled, we all have great equipment with the exception of a good PA system for vocals.. we are using a radioshack mic and a accustic guitar amp and a shit cord that screams every once in a while lol... ohh well we will eventualy get better equipment... but in the meantime we have a large 6 10 bass amp and a crate half stack - which i am using - eventualy i want to upgrade that to a mesa - but anywho, life is fantastic, i wish i had a girl to share the excitement with.. but oh fucking well...

I just want a little jina!!

Thu, 23 Jun 2005 18:20:09 GMT

Im bruised and tattered, my hair is falling out, i move my arms or legs and i feel pain.. ive had around 2 to 3 hours of sleep and this is after the most violent show i have ever been 2, we seen in order of apperance: 10 days, blood something lol, american head charge, and static-x, the last 3 bands where sex, the blood band had a great bassist, american headcharge was just fun as sex with triplets, and static-x.. well they are static-x. Not normaly my type of metal but being with good ppl and seeing a good show always puts this warm tingly feeling in my vagina, but anyways after the show we hung out with American headcharge's drummer, we went and got nachos and icecream... he was around 30 but had the mental capacity of someone around the age of 12, he was a good guy thoe, and he remembered all of our names, i feel bad for the band, they recently lost one of their memebers, he was found dead on his bunk in the tourbus, i cant even imagine playing with someone for years, literaly living with them, and then finding them cold... very tragic. I dont want to admit it, but i stood out like a sore thumb, i was they only guy in girl pants, luckily zipper let me borrow her black mudvayne hoodie lol, so i managed to blend a little better... ohh and static x played my favorite song by them.. its called love dump

On a more tragic note another girl has decided to no longer date me, i do everything right, honestly, and i just cant have anything lasting... i just want something to be mine... maybie its greed, but everyone else gets something to love but me... enough

I have alot of good things, but i just want something to die for

Ive gotten alright at geetar, im getting good enough that lessons might be usefull now, i must get my solo skills up... way up as up as upable..

I love britt, she writes alot of journal entries about me, what a sweetheart

Bliss

Sat, 05 Mar 2005 20:18:33 GMT

Me and david are quite similar i decided...well i guess its sorta obvious when you see the two of us. But anyways the reason i am mentioning our similaritys is the fact that we both love poseesions, it makes us feel complete to own things...The gibson LP S LTD i just bought is proof...was i happy with my 600$ SG...no, i had to have a 2100$ LP it is the most amazing thing i have ever owned....its as expensive as a car, but sounds like a dream...

I have been quite lonely lately, it sucks...i miss social interaction...im thinking of going to a mall or park and just sitting on a bench and just hopeing that someone walking will past will even nod their head to aknowledge me. Im starting to think that i should have joined the USMC that way all the people with loved ones that are dying can trade their life with someone who doesnt deserve theirs

I have been craving mexican food, i want mexican food, umm mexican food, where is the salsa

I got my haircut i look so emo, im thinking of letting my red hair grow out...yes red..the color of salsa

Speaking of hair, i havent had a razor in about a month, my pubes and chin pubes are running wild

Sat, 26 Feb 2005 14:18:25 GMT

I bought my expensive guitar a few days ago, i just need to wait for my loan to go threw and its mine, "ohh yes, she will be mine" ...I have been lonely i have been reunified with david, but i still miss female company, i have been with alot of whores as of late and i want someone that gives me a challenge and will actualy stay around (ya right, im fucked) but thats the update, ill check back soon

Saaaahhh!!!

Fri, 18 Feb 2005 06:14:05 GMT

David where are you?

Back in

Thu, 03 Feb 2005 16:42:16 GMT

I guess the balance has been restored and i am once agian considered a friend among shane and the southerners (sounds like a cult lol) but they are all good people and they where just misguided and quite honestly i was also outraged about what happend but they are still friends and one who cant forgive friends should not have them to begin with...and im sure they forgive me for all that i had done - even if i cant remember what i had done wrong

Due to popular demand

Sun, 23 Jan 2005 21:11:20 GMT

Im going to go over more info on my sex life...I had sex for the first time, it was as meaningless and uneventfull as the rest of my life, i did it to do it, she ment nothing to me...her name is Cassy it was the first time i met her, i met her off of myspace...we actualy went on our first date last night, but we had sex the first time we met a week ago...I think the reason i did it is due to so many ppl giving me that shocked "your still a virgin" bullshit...sex is over rated, i wish i saved it for someone that means somthing to me...but now that i think of it that day will never come...just like me

Now on to other news...madi accidently called me the other day, i had to deny the call as i was at work, when i texted her back all she said was "who is this" and when i told her who this is she never responded...her journal says she misses me and that makes me feel good - i would just like to converse with her

One of my specific unmentionable friends has decided to call things off between us, i pretty much told her to, i have been trying to avoid calling her and have succeeded, she has moved on and forgot about me...now if she can just keep it up she may live a normal life...i have realized that i am a cancer - the only way to be normal is to cut the infected flesh from your bone and hope that no traces are left and that the scars heal in a way that your vanity may be maintaned

Took me long enough

Mon, 17 Jan 2005 18:22:02 GMT

I had sex....it was pretty good...we screwed for about 3 hours...and in the end i still didnt cum...i think it was beacuse i was nervous...that or my penis is broken...

Shelf life

Thu, 13 Jan 2005 03:57:16 GMT

I have been dumped from a relationship that had never occured, and suprisingly somthing that had no real words, like "boyfriend" or "dating" or any of those 'normal' classifications hurt me so much more to loose...i think i secretly wanted it...i think i actualy seen it comming...but my mind predicts all of the worse things that can happen, but none of the things that actualy do occure... I feel glad that she is going to move on, that she is going to have something meaningfull...i now realized my purpose...im here to help ppl get what they want...but im also ment to have nothing myself...sorta like a priest...but i dont get salvation...to the one that has left i hope all good things will come, to all that will come in the future and leave the same...i wish the same

Wow...highschool version 2.0

Wed, 12 Jan 2005 01:55:07 GMT

I started college yesterday and the firts thing i noticed is the fact that it is exactly, the same...no friends, no additinal social events nothing...the classes are even slightly easyer then highschool, i dont know what all the hype is about...maybie its a university thing...but for right now its good to know that my life is moving forward and not backwards...now their is somthing to actualy look forward to...i like having classes, then a space between...i can do my homework right after the class, which is awesome...but i do hate not knowing anyone (but thats the way it was in highschool) their are quite a few hot girls around here...most of them have bf..which i have learned a trick to find out if they do or dont...what i do is i look on both sides of them to see if their is a guy one either of the sides...lol...but seriously every hot girl around here seems to be escorted by their boyfriends..i dont know why..i dont know if its due to him being afrade that she is going to whore herself around campus, or if its her afrade one of the 52 year old guys is going to try to make a move, either way atleast i get a heads up...but i guess i will talk to all my friends later...cus dayvid is coming down and he is the only friend i have lol...

Sodomization and persperation

Thu, 06 Jan 2005 15:28:44 GMT

Ahh life is wonderful..for once in my life i feel like i cant loose anything cus i have already lost close to all...

I have improved threw sweat and pain...my guitaring has reached levels I had never imagined...and i will continue to push the boundries of this flesh...my wrists my fingers my arms my mind...all numb due to the need of increasing speed...and i love it..

Their is something i would realy like to mention..but putting it in writing with not be a good idea, it would increase gods chance of descovering the chance that somthing might go right...and he will then have to put an end to it...so for the time being i am not saying anything...

David bought some great cds and put them on my computer...One stands out..as i lay dying...awesome geetaring...and i am picking up their style with extreem speed...its an obsession i like to call it 2 string metal licks...and it gets the ladys pantys wet...and to be honest it gives me a slight errection in the process as well

Ahh long time no see

Thu, 30 Dec 2004 04:38:51 GMT

Its been a while since i have penitrated you with my dirty existance...i hope you missed me... I cut my hair...but i dont have much time..i have a bitching sister wanting to use the computer...althoe it should be called a box of sluttyness if she is conserned...such a myspace whore...well anyways i hope to post a meaningful comment here soon...but for now this is what their is

I just dont know

Thu, 16 Dec 2004 21:13:56 GMT

Me david and a girl who would probably wish to remain nameless went to the mall, we where having a great time...we where at gamestop screwing around and David attacked me...now i know your thinking david was just screwing around, but he realy came after me...ive probably cry'd twice in the past 6 years...when my cousin died, and teusday night

I wouldent hold somthing like that agianst david thoe, so as far as im concerned its over, but i think me being with a girl might have gotten to him...im sure that when he sees me with a girl on my arm he thinks of all his other friends...dan, mike...they ditched out for chicks...

Stoping of the bloodshed

Mon, 13 Dec 2004 21:28:52 GMT

I stoped cutting and life seems to be going back to normal, me playing guitar, everything seems in natural balance now..i have what god intends me to have, and i am fine with that, its what i had before its what i have now...im going to try to go shopping for davids christmas present...assuming i can keep him away from me for 10 min...lol...hope i can find somthing for the man that has everything...

Sudden seperation, instant salvation

Sun, 12 Dec 2004 21:30:38 GMT

Everything seems to be going good now, last night was amazing, me and david went and ate at my aunts, then we went to the mall. I bought myself some shoes, and a christmas present for my sister.

No stress, no one attacked me with text messages...at the end of the night i got an interesting call...i would go over it more, but i will not for the protection of the one who treated me so well for what i had caused...I dont trust anyone, i brought david in to see how great my new friends where...i showed him some of the uglyest souls...ones that decieve whenever it is possible, ones that listen closely to every word, cus they know the words can be used as weapons

I need to be a little less harsh...They are good people who care about what matters

A bright new day

Sat, 11 Dec 2004 15:20:31 GMT

Today is going to be grand, i have yet to make plans, but i think im finaly going to feel right... Let me tell you my yesterday story
I got paid...was real happy about that, so i wanted to have a little fun with my homie david, david came over and in his excitement he gave me my christmas early, 2 awesome Atticus shirts (they are small and tight and sexy)
We went to the mall to screw around and i got a text message...i am going to transcribe this conversation
Micki-So when are we going to hook up (somthing i dont expect her to say, too shy)
Cory-I figured you dont anything to do with me?
Micki-No I want u (This is definately not micki, lets see if if she will call me)
Cory-Then call me
Micki-Why
Cory-read my journal, 4 all i know your one of the others fucking with my head
Micki-What your weird never mind leave me the hell alone
Cory-finaly one of you says what they realy want to say
Micki-Your stupid as hell leave micki alone or ill kick your ass
Cory-Who do you think started this conversation you bag of shit...micki is the only one i have any respect for (refering to the southerners)
Micki-Hey cory its of (im sure she ment me) micki sorry about whatever was said earlier, someone stole my phone, im sorry please just ignore whatever was said
Cory-Who was it, which one? Im so sick of everyone...i cant even comprehend how easy it must be for my 'friends' to go behind my back, the pleasure they must get
Micki-Fuck you bitch ill cut ur balls off and hand em to ya
Cory-Do it, they do me no good...
Micki-Your a god damn retard fuck head
Cory-you finaly have the guts to say it to me, and not go behind my back, im proud of you
Micki-Damn dude u need some help
Cory-Im begining to think i do
Micki-Ah cory im so sorry jake wont touch my phone agian i promise. sorry ill call you later. xoxo micki
Cory-Im used to it, i look forward to your call (how wrong could i have been)

So Micki calls me, and pretty close to all hell broke loose, i was upset, david said somthing that actualy came close to making me cry, he said "how does all this retarded shit seem to happen? and why does it all happen to you" -- i wish i could cry...i wish i had friends...i wish it would end

But its a new day...and onwards and upwards, you can only go so far down before the ground gets too hard, then you can only climb back up

I was mistaken when i mentioned that i may miss my friends...i will not miss them, they have only brought me unfeelable pain

Friends cause pain...my replacement is satisfactory

Sat, 11 Dec 2004 06:52:07 GMT

Today was one of the worse days of my life...those involved all have their own version of the story, i dont want to talk about them they mean nothing...what realy matters is pain, as i write this i have found a new hobbie, carving - 2 the first day 5 as of right now...7...good #...no its not self destruction or self mutilation its salvation...finaly salvation

seperation anxioty

Fri, 10 Dec 2004 06:31:47 GMT

Eh? 2 posts in one night, i know this is crazy...unlike me, but this is the post liqour entry...and im feeling much better...i have made some realizations about life almost an apitimy of sorts...

I was in a trance a wonderfull blissfull state of ignorance...lol...I was just like everyone else...and for a few moments I thought your christ was going to let me succeed...got what a fool i was

I have awoken...no i have been reborn a phenix rising from the ashed of the chared carcass of shit that i was...i am now a new person, cory is dead, and now we have...ahh hell ill come up with a new name late...its probably going to be Cory2

I have lived a few weeks in the shoes of my "friends" attempting to be as beligerant as them... and if my tracks had continued on the same path it would have become a consistancy and i would have been unable to break the trance, but now as another of my fellow trains has taken me off the tracks and i am once agian friendless i almost feel hole agian...i still dont have my soul, but i dont think i will ever have that agian...

I am afrade thoe i will admit, i am going to miss Micki, and madi and shane (hell even shanes friends) and not to mention Stiffy and Alex and even Michelle....but they are so much better off without me, i cause distress among all that come in contact with me....i am a virus...but david is the antivirus (hes not a cure..he would never try to change me...but he makes me feel right)

I am so sorry micki for all that has been, i am so sorry for all that could have been

I will never know, i will always wonder

My mind is flooded right now....but i will continue to make constant journal entries untill it has been cleared...expect atleast one a day...atleast untill my centrum is complete

The seperation

Fri, 10 Dec 2004 05:17:02 GMT

Im posting this journal entry to say goodbye to my "friends." The ones that read this (with the exception of David, right now I have so much rage inside me that I cant possibly explain it...I will no longer be the spare tire i am....I feel blind and shaky. But even in my rage I cant beileve how blind i was before...lets make a checklist why dont we

1--Micki has lost interest in me, i have noticed the change within 2 days interesting enough
2--Micki is not a virgin!!! big whoopty fucking do....does this matter? not to me, and it sure as fuck should not to others...but my "friends" will go to extents to go behind my back and exploit her for this....this i completely dont agree with, its the most fucked up thing i have ever heard, she is not a peice of meat
3--Madi is saying i told shane that she is not a virgin and thats how it got to dustin....well i hope you remember this madi but i would not say anything...and that it is in her journal, i did not even talk about her not being a virgin till you read her journal...anything in the journal is ment for the eyes of your friends....you read it infront of shane....he decided it would be better to use this info to take advantage...

My friends cant even be loyal among their best friends, they go behind eachothers backs, they are afrade to talk to eachother...and they are more then willing to stab me in the back....real freinds would stab me in the face...

Thats where the seperation comes in...im starting from scratch as i have done so many times...my only friend is david and i need to keep my eyes blind from the beutifull grandure of thinking otherwise...goodbye old "friends" I think i may miss you

Another day in the life of decay

Sun, 05 Dec 2004 17:19:10 GMT

Someone knocked on my geetar skills...someone who i dont even know, hell even the best geetarist i know would be more then impressed at how good i have became.... only like 1 in 20 ppl that pick up a geetar and decide to become good stick with it long enough to be as good as i am... about 2/3 of them have a teacher to show them the way...and close to none of them have done as much as i have in a single year...yes your right someone with a teacher and spends 3 hours a week might get good....but i dont have a teacher and i have spent in some cases 8 to 12 hours a day....your right, without a teacher my "form" might not be exactly what somone 100 years ago thought as proper...but if it is affective and my improper form causes me to not be able to play a certain song practice will then cause my "form" to eventualy adapt to one that allows the required speed, possibly even being this "correct form" -- but that isnt what pisses me off, its the fact that if this guy had taught himself and had the same time span as me (not meaning to brag) i would be much much better then him...

That was just one of the things that fracked my day up...my car has also killed out on me, and it is going to require about 110 bucks in parts, and i have to tow it to my dads shop...to make matters worse i also have my car payment...my cellphone payment and my insurance payment and i dont get paid agian till christmas eve... 500 - 100 - 110 - 60 = about 200 bucks to survive and purchase christmas presents... thank you god for your generousity at such a joyous time...prick

The weirdest and funnyest part of the night was meeting up with micki -- on the way to meet up with her at south towne mall i got a call from katie...david was like hey have her meet up with us, so i said hey meet up with us...(not thinking about our past relationship) so she gets their i hang out with micki and david with katie and she eventualy ditches us so its just me david and micki...but the funny part is is that later that night she starts a text message conversation and asked every question in the world about micki, it was quite entertaining...

Seeing them off

Sun, 28 Nov 2004 20:50:50 GMT

Went with Dayvid and my sis to see the Clifton show before they go on tour....it was friznackin awesome -- There where other bands aside from clifton but they where the main attraction...they are realy good on stage...i just hope they manage to take the energy and apply it to their first EP -- their recorded songs feel so forced, and the vocalist is realy trying to do the darkest hour style of vocals that seem over drawn, i hope they sound more live on their album..

Unforgetvable night

Sat, 27 Nov 2004 22:07:57 GMT

Ahh last night, it was fantastic, we had plans to hang out with shanus and madi...me and david get ahold of them and they say that they are on their way down here, so i assume about 20-30 min...several hours later i get frustrated, i go to a coffee shop, they once agian decide that it would be a good idea to hang out...this was about 1/3 of the way to the coffee shop, so i get their, stand in a realy long line purchase the largest extremely hot beverage, slowly drink it as it is burning the shiesh out of me, then i have a conversation with an arabian guy, your probably wondering when madi and shanus showed up....(dont worry they did show up) they showed up as we where pulling out of the parking lot

we parked next to eachother....as we sat their and did nothing -- grand night....madi got mad at me once for ditching her...i wonder about her feelings on ditching ppl now....

Im going to another show with david tonight, if anyone of the girls wants to come they sure as hell better be where they say they are going to be, for i no longer have much expectation....

Ohh i have to work an extra hour of OT today and i want to kill myself

Better then normal

Fri, 26 Nov 2004 14:54:09 GMT

My geetar is going much better then i had anticipated, what used to be extremely dificult i can pick up in literaly seconds...solos are still aluding me, but eventualy i will learn the glory of the fretboard

Me and Micki hung out the other day, i cant realy devulge the details, to recap we are not going out or dating but we are benifiting...(thats what we are calling it...if you want any details on the "date" you would have to ask her...
You know it feels realy good to hold someone, and to feel someone hold you back...to be with someone that actualy wants to touch you, its both scary and exciting

Me and david had thanksgiving dinner together last night it was glorious, my sister told me that my dad thinks me and david are gay with eachother (what a fucking-mook-tard) hell even if we where their is nothing wrong with it, but let him think what he wants...their are a few out their that know how excited i can get around girls

My first show...with my bro

Mon, 22 Nov 2004 20:45:53 GMT

Went to see Clifton with david (Clifton being a band that features a drummer (Jesse) i know (we grew up together as i was babysat by his mother)...Clifton was fracking awesome, lots of energy, funny thing is is they where the opener for a band called Isis, so most ppl where probably their for Isis, where my main attraction was the opener....so let me tell the story --- my sister realy wanted to go see the band and i being the most wonderful brother in the world agreed to take her; she was suppost to go with a friend who flaked out on her, so it was me david and jen -- we got their late and the show had not even come clost to starting yet..we waited outside for like an hour

We got in and it was hot, i was sweating and my hair looked wild and sexy (headbanging and sweating...a perfect combination) everyone seemed to be just standing their like it was their first concert and they didnt know what to do, everyonce and a while a mosh would apear, then dissapear just as abruptly

The other 2 bands where a little weird....These Arms Are Snakes was a great band, but the singer was insane....it would have extremely hard metal licks, followed by some manson like riffs...and a singer molesting himself deuring the entire song.... --- The last band Isis was awesome when it came to some parts of song, espetialy their singer (hardcore/softcore/ambience/and even geetaring) but the band overall suffered from "stretching" (overly long) it made me with the song would just die allready...

I gave one of my jr high school teachers daughters a ride home

PS My co-worker Lori is awesome...but she thinks she is just ok...